What your Easter egg choice says about you

Easter is upon us which means that we celebrate Jesus in the best way possible by shoving egg-shaped chocolate down our throats. Now, what may seem like an innocuous decision in selecting an Easter egg is actually an act that tells us more about you than you might think. So, we prepared this article to tell you exactly what your Easter egg choice means and whether or not you're a top-class person or a sociopath. Enjoy.

 

Ferrero Rocher

We'll kick things off in a positive light as Ferrero Rocher is a god-tier egg choice. Not only is the egg unique with its bumpy texture, but it also has that gorgeous hazelnut taste that is irresistible. People who are cool, sexy and good-looking pick this one up, it oozes class, and sophistication and is what true taste looks like. 

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Smarties

Ah yes, a Smarties egg, the people's choice if you're the kind of person who thinks that having a cup of tea is a personality. Who picks up a Smarties egg? These round little chocolate pellets are available all year round and taste... fine. Yes, the egg has a pattern on it but it doesn't make up for the sheer blandness my mouth is suffering with. If your parents try to give you one, reject the egg and their love. Do not become one of the bland brigade.

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Creme Egg

Creme Egg is underrated, people get tired of it because it comes out every year and the marketing department at Cadbury's wants us to care a bit too much. But Creme Egg is some of the nicest chocolate filling you'll have and this one is for the risk-takers, you don't give a damn if people judge you for suggestively tonguing the bottom of the shell for all the filling. You don't have the self-awareness for what you're doing and you wouldn't care anyway, all power to you.

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Mini Eggs

Mini Eggs are good old reliable. This is for the friend that you can always depend on, they'll never let you down, they always show up on time, help you with little fuss being made and just have the best chat going. You just can't hate Mini Eggs, they taste great and they're the perfect Easter treat.

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Twirl Orange

Twirl Orange is nice, there can be no qualms with the taste at all but... it gets absolutely everywhere. This one is for those who are oh so loveable yet a complete mess at the same time. Twirl Orange is for those who sleep about three days a week, have an endless amount of drama in their lives yet seem relatively sane in spite of it all.

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Terrys Chocolate Orange

 

Terry's Chocolate Orange is undeniably the best orange chocolate going. This one is for the loudmouths, those who you can hear coming before they've even turned the corner. They will make an absolute display of cracking their egg, maybe take a chainsaw to it, crack it on their skull or even just lob it fully at the wall from their past experience just trying to break open the normal Terry's Orange.

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Yorkie

Clearly, if Yorkie is your choice of Easter Egg then maybe you don't care about anything at all. Until it got rebranded it was the misogynist's favourite chocolate bar but don't let that distract you from the fact that at the end of the day it has always been just a slab of thick chocolate. You obviously have no taste, think cargo shorts are trendy to wear at festivals, that a fleece is an acceptable item of clothing and that Anne Marie makes good pop music.

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Aero

Aero is the type of chocolate that gets praise just because it's a little different. Yeah, sure it feels weird because it's a bit bubbly but is that really what we're putting under the bracket of exciting? This is for people whose idea of excitement is deliberately ordering under a different name at Starbucks or that pranking someone is by placing a whoopie cushion on a seat. You're not funny, you're not taking risks, you're actually just boring.

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Mars

Mars may be absolutely banging but this belongs firmly in the territory of the football hooligan. A half-time delight at grounds up and down the UK, this is more likely one for the lads. Get your half and half scarf ready, with your Pukka pie and disappointing hot chocolate because this screams having a fetish for being sat in a stadium with a leaky roof and getting rattled 5-0 by your local rivals. 

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Munchies

There will be no slander of Munchies today. On the surface, this is bland and for bland people, the packaging is forgettable, the egg looks basic but never overlook Munchies. They represent the dark horse, the kind of person you expect nothing from but actually deliver once you give them a chance. Do not not place a bet against this type of person, once you get to know them you'll see that they're legends.

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Check out our What's On Guide to discover even more rowdy raves and sweaty gigs taking place over the coming weeks and months. For festivals, lifestyle events and more, head on over to our Things To Do page or be inspired by the event selections on our Inspire Me page.