The artist formerly known as Cynics. Better known as 'haven't you shot up!' the history of which is often argued to be either due to his teenage growth spurt or his pretend heroin habit.

Born named Giles Alexander Romeo Bidder. He quickly became renound as GARB. His seedy past as naked brass player in seminal punk rock ska band F-BATS was an image he seeked to step out of and changed his name legally on Friday May 7th 2009 to Cynics. Kind of like Seal, or McLovin’s fake ID in Superbad.

Since the name change Cynics. has been serenading vulnerable girls with his pop-acoustic songs about his friends and various girls along the way which seem to follow the young star around the country.

Following in Bob Dylan’s shocking footsteps, Cynics. turned electric and marked this on his birthday with his first show at The Monarch in Camden Town, London. Most of the original Cynics. fan base have since turned their backs on the man and the music with ex-best friend Tom Hawes stating ‘He was a revolutionary to me, I made my own t-shirts with his face on and everything. But now, now he’s sold out. He’s gone electric and is dead to me.’ Tom now sells the t-shirts on ebay for high profit.

Despite this, Cynics. has powered on touring the world and persuading vulnerable girls to touch him in private areas.

Cynics. hit single ‘Memorial Day’ was greeted with great applause from the critics, however Dan Yemin (singer of Paint It Black) claims he wrote it first. Cynics. acknowledged this and invited Mr Yemin to a fist-fight.

Dan Yemin has yet to respond.

In 2011 Cynics disgustingly added bass and drums to the line-up, but were forced to rename themselves Great Cynics, because a better band were already called Cynics.

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