10 minutes with... We Are Scientists

Illegitimate theme parks, Murky Muckbottoms and the musical pursuit of sexual interaction... we delve into the (largely unscientific) world of California's We Are Scientists.

Jayne Robinson

Date published: 7th Jan 2013

What's We Are Scientists all about? What brought you all together and what keeps you going through inevitable struggles and bumps in the road?
We started the band because we were bored, essentially. We were three friends living together a year out of university, and it was increasingly clear to us that the real world was going to be a dim experience by comparison with the liquor soaked ecstasies of our youth. And so we started the band to kill time, pleasantly. And boy, did it pay off.
 
When you set out did you have a clear vision for what you wanted to achieve as a band or has it been more a process of exploration?
Both, really. We started life as a joke band, with songs focusing on our battles with fictitious monsters. As soon as we learned that those sorts of songs would bring us no meaningful sexual interaction with females, we began exploring other band-related avenues toward losing our virginities.
 
How would you describe what the music industry is like on the inside? Does it let you do your own thing much or does it try to control you?
For the most part the people we've been lucky enough to work with throughout our career have been fine, intelligent, enthusiastic people who are in the game because they do love music. Even during our time in the deepest mire of what is pejoratively evoked by the word "industry" - i.e. a major label - we worked with folks who were genuinely lovely and creative, and we're still friends with most of them, after we've all moved on.  As a band with a pretty-much fully-formed identity from the outset, we've always been allowed to do things (largely) our own way, probably because we often have more creative and interesting ideas than your average marketing person who has no real personal investment in the band.  
What is Brain Thrust Mastery and how do I attain it?
You can attain it by purchasing all of our albums and at least £1000 pounds of our attractive and sturdy merchandise.
 
When do we get to see a second series of Steve Wants His Money and where do you get your scriptwriting ideas? Will Steve ever get his money? Does he deserve to get his money?
Steve *did* get his money in the final episode, and for that reason, we'll never need to explore that storyline further, since, one assumes, we've learned our lesson about borrowing money from that guy when we have no intention of paying him back in a reasonable amount of time.  


 
What made you choose Belgian band Sky Castles as the 'hottest unsigned band' in the 'The Play and Stay at Aloft' Hotels competition?
Frankly, they produced the music that aligned most closely to our personal tastes - upon reviewing their entry in the contest, Chris (perhaps ignorantly?) described them as "the Pavement of Belgium."  They also seemed like nice kids, like people we could spend twelve hours with without wanting to commit multiple homicide. Turns out, we were right. They're a great gang, and they enjoy a good drink, which is really our only metric of friendship.
 
Being Scientists, after-all, what's your field of study? What have you learned from all the science?
Does mixology count as a science? We've learned that, against all accepted scientific evidence, that vodka and whisky can be safely commingled, provided that a muddled tangerine is also added. That's called a "Murky Muckbottom."
 
If We Are Scientists were a bar, what would your clientele be like, and what would your signature drinks and food offering be?
Our clientele would be we three, and like four of our most rigorously vetted friends. The signature drink would be the previously mentioned "Murky Muckbottom", and the food would be Pina Coladas.


 
If you ran a theme park (with an unlimited budget), what would you call it, and what would the flagship ride be like?
It would be called Walt Dinsey World, and it would traffic careless tourists into believing they were actually visited the (more) legitimate Disney World.  The signature ride would be a cart that carries the guest down a blind alley, where they are sapped and robbed of all their possessions.
 
The world is going to get hit by a planet destroying asteroid in 20 hrs. There is no hope of survival. What would you do with your time?
That should *just* give me enough time to watch BASEketball 12 times.
 
If aliens invaded the earth, overthrew the government and started exterminating the humans (War of The Worlds style), and you guys became head of the resistance, how would you save humankind?
We'd sit them on a comfy couch, give them Murky Muckbottoms as drink and pina coladas as snacks and put on BASEketball.  Then, while they were in that great film's thrall, we'd sap them and steal all of their possessions.
 
If you got to be supreme dictators of the world, and could do whatever you want, what would the first 3 things you'd do when you got into power?
Pretty much the same answer as the last, but to people instead of aliens.

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