Red Laser's DJ Absolutely Sh*tmass

DJ Absolutely Sh*t takes a well earned break from the studio where he's been busily crafting his upcoming project: 'Memoirs of a Crust Monster' (working title Bosco shhhhh - think of a better one then g! not possible init) to deck the White Hotel with boughs of proverbial holly for Red Laser's annual Xmas bash at our favourite gaff!

For your enjoyment on the evening, on-duty residents Pharaoh Brunson and Kickin' Pigeon and will be joined by two absolute Gees. Long time RL bum-chum and mercurial party don Neil Diablo and ten-time world postman of the year (in our opinion) and absolute mega G Royal Male.

If you know anything about the underground club scene in Manchester over the past 20 years then you'll be fully aware of El Diablo's Social club which detonated multitudes of venues and parties across our city and beyond. If you don't know anything then know this: the club's fearless leader, Neil Diablo is mega so get a ticket for the party or be well gutted! We've already ordered his rider as Pharaoh Brunson still has the notes from Wet Play at the Crown in 2012... Two bottles of Chianti, a cheese n onion butty from Tesco and two rolls of dunny paper yeah mate?

Also on the bill is another top banana and the safest postal delivery worker this side of Greendale: Royal Male aka Postman Gee who's been coming to our Red Laser parties for the best part of a decade and has been sending us mega mixtapes for the last few years. Due to the high quality of said mixtapes and his maintenance of a 99.99% safe factor (can't think of a reason to take the 0.01% off - it just looks cooler) we are duty bound to let him loose in the Manctalo Diskoteque. 

*This will be a hot ticket folks so don't dawdle getting sorted out for it!

*Blast-off: Midnight!!! - Cool-down: 7am

*Ticket holder please be in by 2am! G-list blaggers definitely be in by 2am or else!

*Anyone wearing a YOU WOT teeshirt to the event will be given a free bottle of Becks... just find one of the residents. Failing that just look for Dudley's (pretty mush qualifies as a resident) towering Easter Islandesque bonce on the dance-floor. Wherever Dudderz is standing, there is always bottles of Becks close by!

*Blaggers will be frowned upon and moaned about behind their backs by Pharaoh Brunson but still probably be able to get in but don't leave it til last minute like a mega bulb so get a ticket if you can pretty please!

*Merry Shitmass folks!