I got home this morning to find that a ginger Tom had broken in through a locked cat flap and one of our cats was missing.

It came back later on but I think it's been shagged.
Let's hope it's not up the fucking duff.

same ing append 2 my mates cat but it was male its arsehole wiz hingin out vet stiched it bk up but ink it was unrepairable ad to be put down so kittens aint so bad busrt asshole is worse

We're getting a cat soon and this is exactly the kind of bollocks I don't wanna be dealing with

Got to be some more pussy jokes available for this thread..

then get it's minge or balls chopped out like I did. Never had a problem. Thay don't even spray to mark their terartory

A little old lady was in the kitchen one day, washing the dishes when suddenly a little genie appeared beside her.

"You've led a long and good life" the genie said, "I have come to reward you by granting you three wishes. Ask for anything you want and I will make it happen."

The old lady was surprised but cynical. Not really believing that anything would happen she decided to play along for a minute. "Ok" she said, "turn all those dirty dishes into money." With that there was a big Poof! and the dishes had turned into a big pile of cash.

"My" said the old lady, staggered that it had actually worked, "Perhaps you could make me look young and beautiful again?" There was another big poof and the woman now looked lots younger and was very good looking. Excitedly she carried on, "Can you turn my dear old cat into a handsome young man?"

Once more there was a big Poof, and the cat was replaced by a handsome young man. Smiling devilishly she turned to the young man and said "At last! Now I want to make love with you for the rest of the day and all night too!"

The young man just looked at her for moment then replied in a high pitched voice, "Well you should have thought about that before you took me to the vet's shouldn't you!"